Best day in my degree life =)

I feel so happy right now. It's amazing. I feel like giggling, or maybe laughing out so loud that i'd give rise to shouts of “shut up!” from my roommates. I want to jump, i want to dance, i want to hug people. I want you to know that you're such a lovely being, and that you're perfectly amazing as you are right now, with all your flaws. It doesn't matter if something happened to make you think that you're perhaps not thin enough, not fat enough, not tall enough, not smart enough, not funny enough, not happy enough, not interesting enough, not kind enough, not WHATEVER enough. Don't listen to yourself, because YOU ARE AMAZING. Seriously, i`m feeling like on top of the world now. Somebody slaps me please. =D

I never felt so happy before after entering degree life. I feel so blessed. I am happy. =DDD I hope that everything will go right and you are what I need for the following 4 years. I care about you. Yes, I can! I believe that I can treasure this. I won`t let it slip off again this time. "Believe in yourself, because you are absolutely amazing." 

Although the past has not been too convincing, but chill! Just let go. Zoom OUT. Do you see now, all the insecurities and fears and sadness and pain you are withholding? It's not gold, so why are you keeping that? Let it go and accept the changes. Adapt to it and who knows something greater is waiting ahead? ^^ Gingerly, take one step out of that circle of negative energy, and free yourself. Live your life to the max. Forget and forgive. Believe in yourself, it`s never been this great. Appreciate this moment. The sky is yours. The earth is yours. Your life is yours.

Busy days

New Uni life after entering degree programme,
it has been so busy and hectic.

Studies.

Outings.

Lectures.

And I am feeling like missing something in my life.

I just dont know what it is.

I just sort of feel empty in me.

Yes. The emptiness strikes me again.

My recent sleepless nights.

Maybe its just in my dreams or whatsoever.

Idk.

My feelings.

Its hard to be described.

Its just too confusing.

I had been trying my best to show my smile everytime.

Even though I am not feeling good deep in me

Still I'll have smile it out.

Having problems in every way.

From love to studies.

I just dont know the way to face it.

That's why I managed everything of my own badly.

Maybe I should just stop doing so much.

Stop thinking too much.

Just let it be.

I had been saying that since last year foundation.

Am I really that pathetic? 

I'll be having a steamboat as a farewell dinner for Amber, 

a friend of mine tonight.

I'll be happy I told myself.

I'll try.

Leave everything to the God.

I did my best and God will do the rest for me. =)

And for a little bonus, I know a guy from last year april batch foundation.

I like him a lot =D

I hope that we can be new best friend forever.

I am making my move, 

hopefully, I will find a true friend at last. 

Cheers !!! Hehe...

Well, I hope myself will get through all of these tough times and pray for good time ahead.

God bless me. May the spirits be with me ! XD

Memories

When people asked you to smile, ask yourself.

Are you really smiling from your bottom heart ?

Everything's lost except;

the beauty scenes are still wandering in my mind.

I dreamed I hoped.

But, it just could not make it rights.

Oh dear, it`s memories, memories, memories.
How I wish, those moments would be back to me. 

Isit so?

"Often times we caught up in trying to measure worth and analyse every detail, every tiny pieces of a situation that we forget to consider what those pictures can create. Things that look like worthless junk can in fact turn into smaller pieces of a picture that is leading you to an ultimate happy ending or beginning."

And everthing that seems so hopeless and futile and lost right now, is only one tiny part of the big picture. Sometimes we get too up close with certain things that we fail to see how it all contributes to the bigger story.

But it`s quite easy, really. All you have to do is, take a step back, and smile. =)

But sometimes, I do wonder. Am I being too optimistic ???

Change

Changes

in our lives,

I had seen enough of it.

My friends,

my family members,

my loved ones.

People

don't change at our will.

They change at theirs.

I smiled,

I laughed,

and I know

I can do nothing to change them

Just live with it.

I don't wanna care anymore.

=/

Just it.

Those sleepless nights are over

I am better than ever

I felt so alive

I had been through harder times

These days may be hard

but it's not hard enough to bring me down

I woke up from a dream

a nightmare

This is it.

Everything's over.

Stick to my principles of my life

-Eat while you can

-Play while you can

-Smile while you can

-Drunk while you can

-Enjoy while you can

This is myself

This is ME

=)

Can you meet me halfway?

I can't go on further than this.

I want you so bad, it's my only wish

=]

Need you now- Lady Antebellum

Picture perfect memories, Scattered all around the floor.

 Reaching for the phone cause, I can’t fight it any more.

 And I wonder if I ever cross your mind. For me it happens all the time. 

 It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now.

 Said I wouldn’t call  but I lost all control and I need you now. 

 And I don’t know how I can do without, I just need you now.  

Another shot of whiskey, can’t stop looking at the door. 

Wishing you’d come sweeping in the way you did before.

 And I wonder if I ever cross your mind. For me it happens all the time. 

 It’s a quarter after one, I’m a little drunk, And I need you now. 

Said I wouldn’t call but I lost all control and I need you now. 

 And I don’t know how I can do without, I just need you now. 

 Yes I’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all. 

It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now. 

And I said I wouldn’t call but I’m a little drunk and I need you now. 

And I don’t know how I can do without, I just need you now.

 I just need you now. Oh baby I need you now.

We. Now is only me.

I sat down

looking through our pictures, movie tickets

My tears dropping one by one

I wiped it off

knowing i will have to be strong

to get over this

You are the one who's with me everytime

You're the one who share my everything with me

You're the one whom i had sacrificed a lot for

I believe there's a rainbow after the rain

I missed you through sleepless nights

I know its time to say goodbye

I know this friendship not gonna work anymore

Maybe a number of days

or a couple of weeks

or a few months

I'm going to leave out all the rest

I tell myself

I slapped myself

I cried

and I know

these times would be hard.

I showed cruelty to you

as i did to myself.

If i will have a final say about how much u mean to me

I wouldn't say anything

because there's no words that can describe your importance in my life.

So

we just let it be

Let the time pass

I'm sure

You and me

we will be fine.

I close my eyes

say my prayers to the god.

Hope that you will be fine and me either.

This is the full stop of our friendship.

i appreciate it and i really do.

It`s rather an OMG situation

Imagine this -à you're going to the movies. You enter the theater, sink into your cushioned seat with your bucket of popcorn in one hand and drink in the other, and begin to relax. Ten minutes into the movie, a faint, ebbing, horribly familiar sensation starts to tingle within yourself. This sensation gets stronger, and in twenty minutes you can't help but face the cold, crushing reality --à you need to pee.

You force yourself to suppress the urge, because even though god forbid you find yourself sitting in a pool of stale yellow piss in the middle of the cinema, you just don't want to miss any part of the movie. So you hold it thirty minutes...and another thirty minutes... and another thirty minutes... and the movie never seems to end! You almost want to give up and just go to the toilet but really, isn't the show finishing soon already? Why miss the ending?

Such a situation was one i found myself caught in yesterday, and amidst all that, it struck me how uncanny it was that the hardships we face in life are similar to the bladders that torment us while we sit in the cinema.

For example, yesterday, the show seemed like it was never gonna end. It somehow took constant reminding of myself that the show was too good to miss. And I, in the end, chose to stay in the theater and finished the show.

On one hand the actors were utterly amazing and the story was fascinating, exciting, but on the other hand my insides were threatening to explode all over the audience!

And horrible are the crucial moments after the show where you dash to the toilet to find that you're not the first one there, and your destination is so close yet so far, and again you nearly give up and wet yourself, but really,you can't. So you stand there and entertain the creeping sensation that your brain is about to explode, suffering, before you reach your sanctuary that is the toilet bowl and wunderbar! the most amazing sensation comes over you and you are filled with the gratifying sense of euphoria, because not only did you finish your movie, you also did not wet yourself in the process!

Which is how certain challenges and hardships we face are. Sometimes shit happens and you can't see the end of the tunnel, and hopelessness and despair takes over, and you're about to lose focus and tell yourself that really, maybe it isn't that worth it, just so you can get out of here and stop the madness.

But halt!

Here is where you take a pause, and breathe. And smile. And remember that your pot of gold is patiently awaiting you at the end of it all. And realize that your goals are truly worth all the hardships that threaten to bring you down. And know that all of these is making you stronger by the day. And understand that you're the one that choose to be in the situation you are in. And that you can get out of there anytime you like. But you're still there, because you choose to stay.

And remember, that when you survive through it all, the feeling that overcomes you is going to be as great as when you release the contents fo your spiling bladder after holding it for several hours. In fact, it might be even greater too.

Pain

I`m not ignoring you, pain. I`m being with you, but not letting you take me, all of me. You cannot have 100% of my focus. I will not re-act through my pain. I will act more consciously from my heart and soul.

You may have taken over me for some time, but you have reminded me that I want to be LOVE in every moment. You have reminded me that, to be inspiring is to be inspired. You moved me to pause and notice the beauty that surrounds me and that is inside me.

Pain, you showed me a lot and now you`re coming back. But that is okay, I will now take you as a reminder to show me who I want to be even in the face of pain.