Shardhana : Thank you for your concern , i am so touched . Seriously already crying now .
Having someone that actually care for you is the sweetest thing . Trully
grateful that I still have you , =]
Jia Minn : Sure you all are . The emptiness just cant be explain in words , complicated .
But i`m sure that when you all are around , i`m happy . Seriously am .
Now , thinking back , I still have you guys backing me up , I should feel happy again . I will , somehow .
The feeling is the product . Let the time be the catalyst . Hopefully i can catch up with the complication .
I am trying , at least .
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Today Outing
Today went out with desmond,jake,justin,easter,eileen and sam .
I did not take a single picture there , which is a rare case i assume .
Hard to smile . Feel like i`m an "extra" thing which really bothering me .
Emptiness strikes me again .
I did not take a single picture there , which is a rare case i assume .
Hard to smile . Feel like i`m an "extra" thing which really bothering me .
Emptiness strikes me again .
Empty
My heart feels empty .
Waiting for someone come into my life and fill it up .
Anyone , just come .
I need you .
Waiting for someone come into my life and fill it up .
Anyone , just come .
I need you .
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Maybe
Why i just cant be fake ? I always show people what i think and what i feel .
Sometimes i feel rugi cos people might think others and do another thing but i just revealed it all .
Somehow maybe hypocritcy is just not my thing .
Sometimes i feel rugi cos people might think others and do another thing but i just revealed it all .
Somehow maybe hypocritcy is just not my thing .
Hate this .
Dont ever lie to me , i hate liars .
Once you did , i will never forgive you .
I have warned u this . No mercy .
Once you did , i will never forgive you .
I have warned u this . No mercy .
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Options
Thinking of finding a new group to join or find some "boy" friends...
Or just stick with who i`m with right now.
But somehow I feel empty inside .
Or just stick with who i`m with right now.
But somehow I feel empty inside .
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Recently
I am acting weird lately , who noticed ?
Somehow i think that i become "sam pat" in a not good way .
Somehow i think that i become "sam pat" in a not good way .
Rainbow after the heavy rain
Jia minn : I`m glad that u found urself . Nice to see u happy again . =]
Shardhana : I`m glad that u move on , at least u try . = ]
Everything will be fine , I believe that .
Shardhana : I`m glad that u move on , at least u try . = ]
Everything will be fine , I believe that .
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
In need of "you know what" ~
I wan eat McD,sushi,oyster,Burger King,fish and fries,Starbucks,baskin robin,many many many...
Secret
You distracted me . Maybe you dont even know i exist but yet i still like to stare at you , hoping that you will notice me one day . What`s my problem ?
To You,yeah you !!
To you,yeah you ! little miss,its you !!! He is just not that into you, He is a jerk , He is is playing a game call love game. He is not good enough for you. He is bullshitting all times . He is psychologically affecting you . Don`t hope for it, trust me he is "****"... i can`t even find a word to describe him in english ! Imaging that !!!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
也許,你我都在『偽裝』
明明很想哭，卻還在笑。 明明很在乎，卻裝作無所謂。 明明很想留下，卻堅定的說要離開。 明明很痛苦，卻偏偏說自己很幸福。 明明忘不掉，卻說已經忘了。 明明放不下，卻說他是他，我是我。 明明捨不得，卻說我已經受夠了。 明明說的是違心的假話，卻說那是自己的真心話。 明明眼淚都快溢出眼眶，卻高昂著頭。 明明已經無法挽回，卻依舊執著。 明明知道自己很受傷，卻說你不必覺得欠我的。 明明這樣「偽裝」著很累，卻還得依舊......
為的只是隱藏起自己的脆弱，即使很難過，也會裝的無所謂， 只是不願別人看見自己的傷口，不想讓自己周圍的人但心，不想讓別人同情自己， 只想在心底獨自承受，雖然心疼的難以呼吸，卻笑著告訴所有人「我沒事的！」 , 然後靜下來時，自己便笑話自己，何必把自己偽裝的那麼堅強? 好像自己可以承受所有的苦難，這好累......好累...... 即使是偽裝，即使很累，只為了不讓蓄積於眼底的淚水流下。那是蘊藏在眼底的冰冷，一旦溫熱便會洶湧，沖毀我久築的防堤...... 只為這一個理由，已足夠。
偽裝堅強，只為不讓脆弱有機可乘，只為可以一個人在晚上走夜路也不害怕...... 呵，扯開嘴角的微笑並不是那麼容易。 你堅強的背後會有一個聲音：累不累？可已無路可退。 一個人的夜晚，才會最真實吧？！
有時候，我會累會想停下來，去觀望路邊的風景， 有時候，我會為自己找一個藉口，讓自己停留； , 我想為自己找一個藉口，一個讓自己停下來的藉口…
為的只是隱藏起自己的脆弱，即使很難過，也會裝的無所謂， 只是不願別人看見自己的傷口，不想讓自己周圍的人但心，不想讓別人同情自己， 只想在心底獨自承受，雖然心疼的難以呼吸，卻笑著告訴所有人「我沒事的！」 , 然後靜下來時，自己便笑話自己，何必把自己偽裝的那麼堅強? 好像自己可以承受所有的苦難，這好累......好累...... 即使是偽裝，即使很累，只為了不讓蓄積於眼底的淚水流下。那是蘊藏在眼底的冰冷，一旦溫熱便會洶湧，沖毀我久築的防堤...... 只為這一個理由，已足夠。
偽裝堅強，只為不讓脆弱有機可乘，只為可以一個人在晚上走夜路也不害怕...... 呵，扯開嘴角的微笑並不是那麼容易。 你堅強的背後會有一個聲音：累不累？可已無路可退。 一個人的夜晚，才會最真實吧？！
有時候，我會累會想停下來，去觀望路邊的風景， 有時候，我會為自己找一個藉口，讓自己停留； , 我想為自己找一個藉口，一個讓自己停下來的藉口…
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Today Mirrors Tomorrow
"It sucks,you know.When everything is doing fine then,it all crashes again.And the worst part is,I really don`t want to try and put it back together again,but I have to." by one blogger .
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Its Crazy ! Its Fun !!
Wow!!! Deepavali its so crazying !!! Im having so much fun !!!
Went to Vicky house,we talk until 4hrs...then go to kalai`s house and talk for 3hrs !!!
The next day i go out with my dearest fren to penang,eat ,swim,eat play,watch movie shopping!!! so much fun !!! And we played badminton too !!!
Its just so fun to be with friends!! And Im so crazy that i actually let my sister dye my hair !!!
Lol,luckily it turns out to be quite nice the colour,if not,im going to kill her !!! Then kill myself,lol...hahaha !! Going back to aimst is what i dont want the most,how i wish this is just a nightmare,lol !!
Went to Vicky house,we talk until 4hrs...then go to kalai`s house and talk for 3hrs !!!
The next day i go out with my dearest fren to penang,eat ,swim,eat play,watch movie shopping!!! so much fun !!! And we played badminton too !!!
Its just so fun to be with friends!! And Im so crazy that i actually let my sister dye my hair !!!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Episode 1 : When Chicken Meets other Chicken"s"...
After watching the show that directed by Director Jia min,i have decided that i wanted to start a show too =p
Just that im not as great as Director Jia min,so im just going to publish here 1st =p
Well this show is basically call Episode 1 : When Chicken Meets other Chicken"s"...muahahaha...
Well just start with the one that i met 1st =]
Desmond
Desmond Yong Teik Wei . He is my first friend in aimst actually haha,during the orientation day,i noticed that he is a very quiet person and dont have any friends,so me gatal gatal go kacau him when he is eating alone there and say :"Why u eating alone?"...then we start chatting and im the one asking his phone no. actually muahahaha...We start go to lecture hall together and we actually sms-ed each other when wanna g for lecture! We stick together and later on Justin come into our gang and eileen and easter called us "san jian ke"...lame..hahaha =p
He is a very quiet person but if u know him d,then he will start to joke around .
Justin
Justin Cheong Jia Huai is the 2nd friend i meet in aimst =], i actually know him the 1st time i see him in the 1st day of orientation,but that time i havent talk to him yet...muahaha,cos he also another quiet person...hahaha
After i know him,we start stick together ...haha...and he is the one actually asking us to keep one place for him when we go for lecture =] Still very good with me now thou =p He is quiet if u dont know him that well,but as soon as u know him,he can be a good friend,he is sporting,down to earth,small?,handsome?maybe?,hahaha...
Jia min
Chieng Jia Min is the 3rd person i know in aimst,hard to believe huh,hahaha...
Well,it`s all start in the tutorial room when she is `1st come to the tutorial and sit behind us.
And that time she is sitting alone also...Im the one actually asked her whats your name? nice to meet you and so thick-face to ask for phone number =,= Then after i know Shardhana and Sam,we all start to hang around more often and become a lot closer to each other =]
She is a good listener,good teacher[teach life],sometimes can be funny also .She can play guitar and piano very well,and when i say very well,it`s AWESOME !!! =]
Shardhana Morgan
Shardhana is the 4th person i met which is another AWESOME ! =] I still remember the first time i see this little,tiny,small malay girl and asked for her name and always forget or pronounce wrongly....hahaha...and after that only i found out that she is actually indian =,=lll lame teramat sangat,hahaha...
After i know that she can play guitar and sing very well,we actually make a musics night just for us after that . We are very close frens now,We hang out everytime,basically everyday,every lunch and dinner...haha
She is friendly,she likes to make a lot of frens just like me =],she is small,tiny,little and "round" =],she is talkative in a good way =],she is funny and she is very helpful,if she dont like a person,she will just show a face,cant help it =p ,she dont like ordinary things,in another word,she likes abnormal or special or unique or duno wad else d..
Sam
Aftr knowing Shardhana,i get to know Sam,hahaha...
She comes from Kelantan and got a bit kelate look...haha..She will ask a lot of question based on studies if she find it confusing or she dont understand it . She will become very geram if sha cannot solve a problem but she is a nice fren thou,she is a good listener as well just that if u are not close with her,she wont talk a lot .
She tend to lose her temper easily if something happens to be not right . But thats just basically her,we know her very well,haha,after a while she will be ok again =] She is funny sometime =] and she can sing damn nice !!! Her voice it`s like gifted to sing !!! Simply amazed of that =]
Suba
After knowing Shardhana and Sam i get to know Suba =]
They all stick together when I first met them...
Suba is so fantastic that in the first time when i see her i already in love with her humour !
She can be so funny that I will laugh like no people are around and tends to joke around crazily like no tomorrow !!! Hahaha...We are close frens now and i hope we all will always be =]
Jake
Jake i think its the last person i know? Lols, I know him when I was in the computer lab waiting to fill in the insurance thingy and he is just sitting besides me and chong also there. I was talking tamil with an indian girl there and in the halfway i forget already how we started conversation,hahaha...
we know each other that time,after that,i introduced Desmond and Justin to Jake and i think that,that time Jake already know Desmond,hahaha...At first Jake wasnt really close with us,but now he is apart of us,and very close to us =] We are almost everyday having breakfast,lunch and dinner together...
This is basically how i know u all,my best friends all =]...
I hope that our friendship will last forever =]...
I LOVE you guys !!! You all ROCK !!!!
To be continue...........
Just that im not as great as Director Jia min,so im just going to publish here 1st =p
Well this show is basically call Episode 1 : When Chicken Meets other Chicken"s"...muahahaha...
Well just start with the one that i met 1st =]
Desmond
Desmond Yong Teik Wei . He is my first friend in aimst actually haha,during the orientation day,i noticed that he is a very quiet person and dont have any friends,so me gatal gatal go kacau him when he is eating alone there and say :"Why u eating alone?"...then we start chatting and im the one asking his phone no. actually muahahaha...We start go to lecture hall together and we actually sms-ed each other when wanna g for lecture! We stick together and later on Justin come into our gang and eileen and easter called us "san jian ke"...lame..hahaha =p
He is a very quiet person but if u know him d,then he will start to joke around .
Justin
Justin Cheong Jia Huai is the 2nd friend i meet in aimst =], i actually know him the 1st time i see him in the 1st day of orientation,but that time i havent talk to him yet...muahaha,cos he also another quiet person...hahaha
After i know him,we start stick together ...haha...and he is the one actually asking us to keep one place for him when we go for lecture =] Still very good with me now thou =p He is quiet if u dont know him that well,but as soon as u know him,he can be a good friend,he is sporting,down to earth,small?,handsome?maybe?,hahaha...
Jia min
Chieng Jia Min is the 3rd person i know in aimst,hard to believe huh,hahaha...
Well,it`s all start in the tutorial room when she is `1st come to the tutorial and sit behind us.
And that time she is sitting alone also...Im the one actually asked her whats your name? nice to meet you and so thick-face to ask for phone number =,= Then after i know Shardhana and Sam,we all start to hang around more often and become a lot closer to each other =]
She is a good listener,good teacher[teach life],sometimes can be funny also .She can play guitar and piano very well,and when i say very well,it`s AWESOME !!! =]
Shardhana Morgan
Shardhana is the 4th person i met which is another AWESOME ! =] I still remember the first time i see this little,tiny,small malay girl and asked for her name and always forget or pronounce wrongly....hahaha...and after that only i found out that she is actually indian =,=lll lame teramat sangat,hahaha...
After i know that she can play guitar and sing very well,we actually make a musics night just for us after that . We are very close frens now,We hang out everytime,basically everyday,every lunch and dinner...haha
She is friendly,she likes to make a lot of frens just like me =],she is small,tiny,little and "round" =],she is talkative in a good way =],she is funny and she is very helpful,if she dont like a person,she will just show a face,cant help it =p ,she dont like ordinary things,in another word,she likes abnormal or special or unique or duno wad else d..
Sam
Aftr knowing Shardhana,i get to know Sam,hahaha...
She comes from Kelantan and got a bit kelate look...haha..She will ask a lot of question based on studies if she find it confusing or she dont understand it . She will become very geram if sha cannot solve a problem but she is a nice fren thou,she is a good listener as well just that if u are not close with her,she wont talk a lot .
She tend to lose her temper easily if something happens to be not right . But thats just basically her,we know her very well,haha,after a while she will be ok again =] She is funny sometime =] and she can sing damn nice !!! Her voice it`s like gifted to sing !!! Simply amazed of that =]
Suba
After knowing Shardhana and Sam i get to know Suba =]
They all stick together when I first met them...
Suba is so fantastic that in the first time when i see her i already in love with her humour !
She can be so funny that I will laugh like no people are around and tends to joke around crazily like no tomorrow !!! Hahaha...We are close frens now and i hope we all will always be =]
Jake
Jake i think its the last person i know? Lols, I know him when I was in the computer lab waiting to fill in the insurance thingy and he is just sitting besides me and chong also there. I was talking tamil with an indian girl there and in the halfway i forget already how we started conversation,hahaha...
we know each other that time,after that,i introduced Desmond and Justin to Jake and i think that,that time Jake already know Desmond,hahaha...At first Jake wasnt really close with us,but now he is apart of us,and very close to us =] We are almost everyday having breakfast,lunch and dinner together...
This is basically how i know u all,my best friends all =]...
I hope that our friendship will last forever =]...
I LOVE you guys !!! You all ROCK !!!!
To be continue...........
It`s Fun?
Today its kinda fun actually,yeah i play badminton for the 3rd continuos day and yet its full of excitement.
The members of today badminton team is me of cos,shardhana[din play badminton but instead go for jogging],jia min,jing yi,desmond,liang and Lau Mun Yee`s gang . Today we play again with the EXPERT TEAM and the score its not that awful compared to yesterday mainly because they hold back a lot...=p
But yet its still very enjoyable.And we played with Lau Mun Yee too...She is really good.
At night , we have musics night [kononnya] wanna celebrate desmond`s birthday . Actually we wanted to celebrate it from last sunday but it seems desmond come back late and yesterday the convenient shop was closed so i planned to do it today,and we all agreed =] It seems desmond duno anything about it,haha...and thats what i think is fun about,what for doing it on sunday since he already knew that we will celebrate it,rather we celebrate it today,and its full of surprices...muahahaha...We play and eat cakes and they were playing guitars and keyboard and singing...It`s an enjoyable day thou until i found out that im kinda lost cos duno how to play guitar,keyboard and canot sing well...Duno anything make a person feels like he is nothing...lol,not blaming la,basically its just nothing to do,well i did go back early without tell everyone except Sam cos no one will notice oso...Well the nice day ends here =]
The members of today badminton team is me of cos,shardhana[din play badminton but instead go for jogging],jia min,jing yi,desmond,liang and Lau Mun Yee`s gang . Today we play again with the EXPERT TEAM and the score its not that awful compared to yesterday mainly because they hold back a lot...=p
But yet its still very enjoyable.And we played with Lau Mun Yee too...She is really good.
At night , we have musics night [kononnya] wanna celebrate desmond`s birthday . Actually we wanted to celebrate it from last sunday but it seems desmond come back late and yesterday the convenient shop was closed so i planned to do it today,and we all agreed =] It seems desmond duno anything about it,haha...and thats what i think is fun about,what for doing it on sunday since he already knew that we will celebrate it,rather we celebrate it today,and its full of surprices...muahahaha...We play and eat cakes and they were playing guitars and keyboard and singing...It`s an enjoyable day thou until i found out that im kinda lost cos duno how to play guitar,keyboard and canot sing well...Duno anything make a person feels like he is nothing...lol,not blaming la,basically its just nothing to do,well i did go back early without tell everyone except Sam cos no one will notice oso...Well the nice day ends here =]
Monday, November 1, 2010
1st Day
Its the 1st day of Term 2 !!!!!
Well,nothing special today actually,its all start with a disappoint"ion" on the lecturer-changing thing...
Lol,i start to talk back like normal and try my hardest to do that,its just seems like i can talk to everyone like normal except "dia" tapi i try oso...just that canot masuk into the conversation ... =,=
Then hor Sam duno how suddenly got "God-like" sense can sense me and ask the ppl around and when i noticed it,i wanted to shout out loud "WTF"???...
Lol,nothing much actually,i talk craps most of it today...kinda foolish =p...
Well,just bear with me,it`s the 1st day ma...okok,only once lo :]
Hmmm,den wad else har...erm,yeah,we went to play badminton today !!! With beloved gang [Shardhana,Jia minn,Jing Yi and Sam] Wei Khai and twins oso come along,woo~ so many ppl sia...and its raining lol....imagine how badly we wanted to play badminton~ hahaha!!...
i went to play squash at first cos we short of rachet...then only i realised that its too tiring to play squash alone =,= after that we play badminton and i played with Qiu Ching...and another Expert Team !!! They are just AWESOME,they played it so well that i actually feel a bit ashame of myself ~,~
After that we go for a short ping pong session...Basically everyone`s having their 1st time playing ping ping [LOL] ! Overall we played for like 2hrs-2hrs+30min...
Its too tiring for me cos i just played 3 hrs yesterday and today 2hrs more then 2moro 2hrs+ more oso...im going to die soon X_X
At night we go and have our musics night which seems a bit odd from normal o.O cos we usually do it in weekends~
We [ Me,Jia min,Shardhana,Sam,Desmond,Jake,Eileen and Easter ] play and play and sing and sing and laugh and laugh and talk and talk...for like 1hr+30min ~
That`s basically wad happen today...1st day or Term 2, end with full stop in my blog =]
TIRED !!!!! .
Well,nothing special today actually,its all start with a disappoint"ion" on the lecturer-changing thing...
Lol,i start to talk back like normal and try my hardest to do that,its just seems like i can talk to everyone like normal except "dia" tapi i try oso...just that canot masuk into the conversation ... =,=
Then hor Sam duno how suddenly got "God-like" sense can sense me and ask the ppl around and when i noticed it,i wanted to shout out loud "WTF"???...
Lol,nothing much actually,i talk craps most of it today...kinda foolish =p...
Well,just bear with me,it`s the 1st day ma...okok,only once lo :]
Hmmm,den wad else har...erm,yeah,we went to play badminton today !!! With beloved gang [Shardhana,Jia minn,Jing Yi and Sam] Wei Khai and twins oso come along,woo~ so many ppl sia...and its raining lol....imagine how badly we wanted to play badminton~ hahaha!!...
i went to play squash at first cos we short of rachet...then only i realised that its too tiring to play squash alone =,= after that we play badminton and i played with Qiu Ching...and another Expert Team !!! They are just AWESOME,they played it so well that i actually feel a bit ashame of myself ~,~
After that we go for a short ping pong session...Basically everyone`s having their 1st time playing ping ping [LOL] ! Overall we played for like 2hrs-2hrs+30min...
Its too tiring for me cos i just played 3 hrs yesterday and today 2hrs more then 2moro 2hrs+ more oso...im going to die soon X_X
At night we go and have our musics night which seems a bit odd from normal o.O cos we usually do it in weekends~
We [ Me,Jia min,Shardhana,Sam,Desmond,Jake,Eileen and Easter ] play and play and sing and sing and laugh and laugh and talk and talk...for like 1hr+30min ~
That`s basically wad happen today...1st day or Term 2, end with full stop in my blog =]
TIRED !!!!! .
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