Choice

Today , i have something to say. Just recently i was granted the privilege of choice, yet again. Now i`m eternally grateful for the fact that i have always been fortunate enough to choose how i wan to direct my days and my life. I get to choose what to wear and how to present myself, i get to choose what i want to do with myself, i get to choose what if my favourite food i want to eat later...etc.

But this is a different kind of "choice". This one here that i have on my lap, this is scary. This is dilemma, and the reality of it is that this is the kind of choice that, if chosen wrongly, would be looked upon with regret of many many years to come in the future.

What if i regret my decision? How am i going to face them after this? What if i don`t get what i want? What if he turns out to be the wrong person? What if i`m letting go of something invaluable? What if i hate myself for this?

Yesterday i cracked my head trying to figure out what i wanted. It kept me from sleeping, and had me feeling nervous the entire day.

Today i realized that there is really no need for me to be so torn up over this. I have been terrifying and doubting myself in so many ways that it has already taken a turn towards negativity, and that is simply not sustainable at all, which is why i`m going to let go. I haven`t come to a decision yet, but im not going to be afraid anymore.

I will not regret my decision. because regret is only a fantasy that your insecurities craft, a nightmare of sorts and blah blah blah...and it never helps a thing. One month from now wherever i found myself then, regarless of what i have chosen today, i have faith that it is nothing but meant to be. All this while i was trying to protect myself from the regret that i would potentially feel,but today, i see that this is ridiculous. This is life, there is nothing right or wrong decision, everything just is.

So,don`t regret anything, ever. Yeah, so things could have been different. You could be living in a bigger house right now, be married to a different person, have different roommates, etc. Your life could have taken on millions of different paths, but open up your eyes. Take a look around at the room you are in, and the people you are now surrounded with. This is it where it has led you, and this is where you are now.

I won`t regret. Regret ain`t gonna change a thing. And it`s such a pain in the ass.

Let it go, wherever it is. Your life is perfect. Believe it.